Shopping is one of the downplayed pleasures of life. It is also one of the guiltiest pleasures of said life. But there is just no other time than pregnancy and a newborn baby that women can justify shopping without the guilt of going overboard. Seriously, you have to give us that. Baby shopping ranks right up there with the light and heating bill, okay that is a tiny exaggeration but it is a close, very close second and I am not taking that back. That is going off course or off-topic as I lost the point of why shopping was mentioned. Well not totally off now that I got my thoughts together; baby brain, sorry no pun intended. So, yes shopping that brings me to Danielle a mum of a beautiful baby girl. One of Danielle’s baby shopping was an afterthought: the Minbie bottle. As she tells it she just decided to get one not knowing how much that afterthought would be her saviour.
"I found it on FB we had already bought another brand of bottle. I don’t know why I bought it. It was something about breastfeeding friendly. And I know I am willing to breastfeed so I just thought I would buy one. Whatever this starter pack is yes that’s how I discovered it.I just got on maternity leave so it was that time to switch and to think now I am having a baby. So then you just go a bit crazy shopping, buying things. You have got more time to think about.”
Experiencing happiness as a family is even more potent than alone as Danielle here quoting Adam shows: “Danielle she has taken the bottle she has taken it really well. She grabbed the side of the bottle and she looked exactly like when I breastfeed her in heaven.”
The role of the dad has always been taken for granted. He is the backup for when mum needs a break. The baby holder when baby wakes at nights and just needs comfort. He may also be the one to carry baby from bed to breast for a feed. So what does that make this very important part of the puzzle of one plus one parent makes two? A baby fetcher. Dads are not just to fill the gap. Dads are 50% part of the equation of how the baby came into being. Thus, dad’s role should not be marginalised. This dad found out just how much he was missing from not being a whole but only a fraction in his daughter’s life.
“It was brilliant because I had literally like 5 or 6 minutes where I kinda felt like what she feels like when she is feeding (Adam telling of when mum feeds their daughter). With breastfeeding it’s virtually impossible to be involved while that’s going on….this was perfect she loved it” Dad explaining the awesome moment when his sweet little girl allowed him to bottle feed her.
Adam (dad) shared his first moment of, wow! Feeling something he thought he would never get to experience: “When I give the bottle to her the love that I see between the two people is unreal… ...when she is awake and she is staring at you its just that moment that intimacy you can't describe it; you just don’t get that.” Very touching words from dad on the emotions he felt from sharing in the feeding of his baby girl.
“During the day our face time is like bits and pieces and she would smile and laugh but the feeding I don’t get to do any of it. If I don’t do it I am literally missing out unless I am changing her. But the feeding that’s important, because now she has taken to it.”
As mums, we may naturally think that the love we have for our babies will compensate for any sacrifice. It is vitally important that mums recognise that their sacrifice does not mean completely giving up everything that is enjoyable which does not include our babies. Notice the use of vitally and important are used together, that was intentional. Normally two negatives is a positive and two positives is a negative but in this instance, it is a cementing of the seriousness of the words here. If you do not take time to enjoy small pleasures, things can blossom to bigger issues like depression and even resentment. It may result in not enjoying the life you brought into this world.
“I felt a weight off my shoulder that I have never felt before I felt wow I can join in If I need to breastfeed I couldn’t even have a glass of fizz it was a nice feeling being able to enjoy my friend’s wedding with her without feeling just like a mum. I love being a mum; It was an amazing feeling to be able to do both.”
“Having a bit of time out a light relieve has taken the strain off. It can get really intense being a mum every day when you use to working doing things like that. It’s nice to sometimes have a break you come back feeling reenergized.”
What is your guilty pleasure? Do you find time to indulge? Think about these two questions and think about how important it may be to you. After that self-analysis take a close look at your situation and decide if it is as you wish it to be.